Category: Personal


Do Demons Exist?

English: Luciffer versus The Lord (Madach) Slo...

English: Luciffer versus The Lord (Madach) Slovenčina: Lucifer proti Pánovi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Once again, I’m back. As in my last post, I related that I’ve been dealing with a lot of ‘stuff’. The title of this post reflects, not a question on my part of whether they exist or not. If one believes in God, you must believe that satan exists and by extension, demons. For as the Bible says, Lucifer fell from heaven to earth in his rebellion against God and took 1/3 of the angels with him. Lucifer was the guardian of God’s glory and he coveted that, pride being his downfall. He hates all humans because God set us humans above the angels in His affections. Therefore, it’s been Lucifer’s ultimate goal to rid the earth of humanity.

And he uses his cronies to torment humans to do evil, depraved things; things that will separate us from the love of God. Sin is sin, no matter how small, but accepting the Grace of God provided by the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ tears us out of satan’s hands. Christ‘s sacrifice for humanity is God’s perfect plan to thwart the designs of satan that he initiated in the Garden of Eden. Once Adam and Eve tasted the forbidden fruit, all humanity was doomed to destruction. God gave the Laws of Moses to show that no one can keep the law; if you break one, you’ve broken them all.

No sin is so small that it will be overlooked, but NONE are so large that it won’t be forgiven. And that forgiveness ONLY comes through Christ Jesus.

I’ve gotten a bit off track here, according to the title, but felt it needed to be said. Once you’ve accepted Christ, ALL your sins, past, present and future are forgiven. Those of us who have made that choice aren’t perfect, just forgiven, but we should at least try to be as Christ-like as we can.  And God has given us the Holy Spirit to help us to that end.

But what about demons? Being a Christian doesn’t automatically exempt you from the aggravation, torment and agony of mind that demons can inflict on us. Indeed, those who profess Christ are prime targets. You can expect it. This is what I’ve been going through for nearly a year now.

For a long time, I couldn’t understand what was going on. It’s only recently that I realized I’ve been under attack by the forces of darkness. Little by little, over time, it intensified. As a result, I became depressed, despondent, and felt abandoned even by my family. I sometimes wondered if God had abandoned me, as it seemed that very few of my prayers were being answered.

I had fits of depression that would come on without warning, even though my life wasn’t the best, there were times things were ‘ok’. I couldn’t bring myself to do many things I should do, like housework, for example. I did manage to go to work each day, but all my energy was spent on that and once I got home, there wasn’t much left. I was struggling in so many areas.  I got out of going to church regularly, reading the Bible and praying. Though I would pray, there were times when I didn’t and it didn’t seem to bother me. Eventually, though I began to see a connection, but was still blinded by the lies I was being told by the enemy.

A couple of pastors on TBN recently preached on Christians coming under an attack by demons. As they talked and gave conditions for such activity, I realized that was what was going on with me. So, how does one deal with this?

Well, for a while now, I’d been thinking I needed to anoint my home with oil for protection, or perform a cleansing of my home. I had done this a good while back, but apparently one must continue to do it, as one prays and reads the Bible every day, though you wouldn’t need to cleanse and/or anoint every day.

So I went online to Google casting out demons from homes/land/property. I found a lot of info, many of which were merely ‘spiritual’ and not Christian; those I didn’t bother with.

I do want to relate an odd occurrence that happened before I did this search.

I have cats, some indoor and some outdoor. One of the outdoor cats, on occasion, doesn’t show up when the evening meal is served; so I save it and keep an eye out for him. He showed up later as I was coming out the door and I let him into the covered porch. He came in and stopped just inside the door and hunkered down right there. He started making a strange sound and his body language looked to me as though he was going to vomit. I talked to him and noticed he seemed to be staring at something behind me, growling at it. Thinking it was one of the kittens, I turned but there was nothing there; the kittens were elsewhere. I searched the area to see what he might be seeing, but there was nothing. I asked him if he was getting sick and gave him a little pet on his head; he flinched away, still making that strange sound. He never did throw up and after about a minute or so, he relaxed and started eating his supper. When he moved away from the door, I saw he had defecated on the threshold! Whatever it was he had seen, it had scared the crap out of him!

The next morning, he didn’t come for breakfast; I later saw him out on the large roll of wheat the neighbor had in the field next to my home. I called to him, but he didn’t budge. This is unusual because he always came before. After a while, I saw he had come down off the wheat and was lying in the yard about 50 feet away, watching me. Apparently, this was as far as he would come. I went out and gave him his dish and he ate. That’s when I decided I needed to do something as this behavior was very out of the norm for him.

I checked out some of the links I found and did some extensive reading on it. Some methods were simple; others more involved, obviously for more serious demon activity. I came across a video on youtube, so I watched it. It was a man, calling himself MrPastor77 and he was saying a prayer to cleanse the home of anyone who listened/watched the video. He had a transcript of the prayer in the description area, and I followed as he prayed, making sure it was biblical.  Apparently, it worked, because as I listened, I felt a pressure leave me, and a peace I had been missing for a long time return. Later that evening, when I went out to feed the cats their supper, Sugar (that’s the cat;’s name) came right up on the porch as if nothing had ever happened. Whatever he had seen the night before was no longer there.

But I know that I need to do a more ‘thorough’ cleansing. One thing I learned is that one must rid one’s house of anything demonic in nature, like objects that could be considered ‘idols’ (buddha statues, etc.), anything dealing with the occult (Ouija boards, tarot cards, etc.). It was recommended that they be burned and not just simply thrown in the trash. I don’t have any of those things, but there are some things, like books of fiction, rock cds, and some videos/dvds that I need to get rid of. After that, I’ll do the more thorough cleansing and anoint the doors and windows.

If there are those reading this that think I’m crazy or loony…well, I don’t really care. I already feel freed from the tremendous oppression I’ve been under, but I know deep down there’s more that needs to be done. I finally feel that I’m back with the living. All the bad thoughts and experiences I’d been going through every day are gone. During this whole time, I felt that I had been holding on to God only by a thread and apparently, that thread was enough to keep me from sliding permanently into the pits of despair and hopelessness.

God IS good! His love is from everlasting to everlasting and His faithfulness endures forever!

God, the Father watches us all everywhere.

God, the Father watches us all everywhere. (Photo credit: angelofsweetbitter2009)

So, I’ve been absent lately…I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff and, frankly, not dealing very well with any of it. When God is working on us, it can get rough sometimes and…let’s face it…I’m afraid I’ve not done a good job in handling any of it.

Which, I suppose was likely the whole point of it. I can’t handle it…not on my own. One thing I’ve learned is that the enemy is even sneakier than I thought he was! Another is, no matter how well I might think I can deal with most anything, God can do so much better than I.

I found myself in a bewildering ‘wilderness’, so to speak. Deeply depressed and lonely. No friends. Feeling abandoned by my family. At one point, I injured myself in a fall here at home; mouth busted and nose broken, bleeding from both, I called three people (I live alone and do not have my own transportation) before I found someone to come take me to the ER.  It was my daughter who lives in another county who had to make the trip to get me to the hospital. My nose was fractured and the inside of my lower lip required 5 stitches. I was out of work 2 days (it happened on Wednesday evening, so I had 4 days, including the weekend to recover enough to be able to return to work).

I could make this a long post about how this led into more depressed thinking, but I won’t. The upshot is that it led to staying home from church (not including the Sunday following the accident), having no desire to pray, not reading my Bible, and so forth. Which, of course, only made matters worse by deepening the depression.

As hard as it was to deal with this mess, I finally came to my senses enough to know that I had to give it all over to God. And that’s the beauty of being His child: Even when you think you can handle something, when it becomes clear that you can’t, God gladly, happily, willingly and joyfully takes matters into His own hands. And the result is that ‘peace that passes all understanding‘ and the ‘rest‘ that Christ promises us.

I know that there are so many people who are going through much worse than what I’ve just experienced. And I commend them for having the courage and strength to face problems like terminal illnesses, disasters (both natural and man-induced), etc. Kinda makes me wonder what He is getting me ready for.

But, I know that no matter what comes, He is here with me, He will uphold me, He will heal me and get me through it.  It’s His promise.

Hebrews  13:5c

…for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

So here I am again…after another absence.

I’ve been going through a lot of private struggles lately. The enemy has certainly been trying his best to get to me. It’s only been through prayer, support from Christian friends and most of all, God’s mercy and grace that I’ve come through…though not without a few scars.

God didn’t promise us an easy life after salvation. But He did promise to always be there. Even if we can’t ‘feel’ Him, even if it seems He’s forgotten about us, even when we think we aren’t worthy to approach Him.

These are all lies satan whispers to us. The enemy can’t read our minds, but he can ‘suggest’ these things to us. Sometimes, it can be so subtle, we don’t even realize what’s happening until we’ve succumbed into believing it. It’s one of the tactics he uses to get to us, and quite frankly, one of the easiest for him to employ. He knows human nature and all the right buttons to push. Remember the Garden of Eden? All he had to do was make Adam and Eve think God might be holding out on them and that was it for the rest of the human race.

And the enemy never gives up trying to bring you down; even mature Christians can fall for his lies, given the right circumstances, though I do want to state that mature Christians usually already know about and know how to deal with such attacks.

One way to defend yourself is to put on the Armor of God: Ephesians 6: 11-18

I suggest that you put the armor on upon waking and before rising.  Just begin with a simple prayer, then deliberately put on each piece:

I put on myself the Helmet of Salvation to protect my mind from any attacks of the enemy.

I place the Breastplate of Righteousness to guard my heart.

I put on the Girdle of Truth, that I may stand in the day, and

I shod my feet with the Sandals of Peace, that I will walk where You lead.

And I take up the Shield of Faith, which protects me from all fiery darts from the enemy.

Finally, I pick up the Sword of the Spirit, which is Your Word.

Not only have I had to deal with personal attacks, but some that came from others, mostly to  cause me to question and doubt. I’ll be posting about one in particular, as it entailed serious study and discussion with others.

The Prodigal Son

Well, I’m back after a long time away. I have to confess that I got pulled into Facebook; not that FB is bad or anything, but I got caught up into playing the games they have there after seeing one my sister was playing on her account. So, thinking I would only be playing that one game, I joined and started playing. For a while, there wasn’t any problem; it was enjoyable and I liked it quite a lot.

Then I started playing another game…

Then another….and another…

Now let me state that there is nothing wrong with playing those games. They are fun and enjoyable..at least when my computer wasn’t freezing up on me or the connection to the server got lost.  It became frustrating, just trying to play any of them.

But the worst thing?

It took me away from the Father. I’m not saying I turned my back on Him, no. Playing those games took up so much time, so much of my thinking that they were the first thing I wanted to do when I got home from work. After doing what I needed to do every day when I got home, I turned on my computer and went straight to Facebook. Trying to keep up with all the requests and playing the games, the hours flew by. I was consumed with keeping the games going and getting to the next level.

And that was the problem. I had no time for God. I got out of praying every day, going to church, etc. Mind you, it was not that I wasn’t convicted about this. But I deceived myself into thinking they were just games. But deep down, I knew it was wrong. It wasn’t wrong to play the games; it was wrong that I had allowed them to nearly take over my life. I was even loosing sleep because I would stay up late trying to keep up with all of them. And it didn’t help that during part of that time, I was working 9 hours a day, 6 days a week. It simply got too exhausting.

I finally said enough. Can you see how insidious the enemy can be? I was on the verge of becoming addicted to these silly games! If the devil can get even the tiniest hook into you, you’re in trouble if you aren’t watchful.

I rarely go to FB anymore, even though my daughter and grandchildren now have accounts there. Not so much because I’m afraid of getting back to that place of trying to keep up with those games…I just am not that interested in it anymore.

That and I have much more important things to take care of.

Such as my personal relationship with the Father.

Small update

I’ve been busy with RL lately, so haven’t posted anything. Today, I decided to post my testimony on how I came to know Christ. It’s not a spectacular story, but it remains with me to this day. I still remember that Sunday morning sunrise as if it happened this morning. Likewise, the moment I connected it to receiving Christ’s wonderful sacrifice.

It’s a separate page here; link at the top My Testimony.

One year ago

Today is the first anniversary of the departure of my mother to eternal life.

Years ago, I recall thinking it would be hard for me when my mother died. It was very hard to imagine life without her. We weren’t extremely close, but not estranged or anything. We were much alike in many ways, and I was quite independent for much of my life. She helped me when I needed help, as she did for the rest of us kids (there are six of us, I’m the oldest of 5 girls and one boy)

My sister Kathy was living with her, as was my brother, and when she retired, Kathy took care of her, as she was getting more frail (she was in her seventies). Kathy, herself, was unable to work because of health issues. Another sister, who had taken over ownership of the house when Mom became concerned that she might lose it if anything happened to her, had become extremely hostile toward Kat, for reasons unknown to the rest of us. This sister was very close to Mom and when she came to visit, would sometimes close Mom’s bedroom door during the visit. I suspected and now know that she had plotted Kat’s destruction when Mom died.

This sister was the beneficiary for the only insurance policy Mom had and since Mom had no will, she was obligated to be the administrator of her estate. Since the policy was only for $10,000, there was only enough to pay the funeral costs, with just a bit left over. There turned out to be other bills that needed to be taken care of, (I knew nothing about them). She was very angry about this and blamed Kathy for running up these bills and using up Mom’s money. Kathy said that anytime Mom needed or wanted anything, she got it, even if it required using a credit card. I agree; it was Mom’s money and her cards, and if she needed or wanted it, so be it! If Kathy needed anything and Mom knew about it, it was ok with me, since she was taking care of her.

But this other sister doesn’t see it that way. Mom had fallen (again!) and broke her hip on Halloween of ’08, and wound up in the hospital, then later into a nursing home for recovery. Mom had COPD and emphysema, along with other health issues. While in the nursing home, she required a feeding tube toward the end of her stay there. (This nursing home was in the city where my other sister worked …..at her request…so she could see to her care. It was there that the tube somehow got dislodged and some of the ‘food’ got into her lungs. She became sick from this and was transferred back to our hometown to a nursing home here. This was where she died.

Six months after Mom’s death, this first sister devised a plan to get Kat out of the house, by telling her they (she and her husband) wanted $400 a month rent or she had to get out. I was staying there at the time, but it wasn’t permanent. Since Mom was gone, her SS check, of course, was stopped. It was taking all of my money to try to keep things going (my brother only paid for what he wanted; this other sister had conspired with him to let him off the hook for rent and basically turned him against us by telling him we would ‘screw him over’!) Kathy had no income, and basically, any money would have to come from me. There was no way I could do it. She took Kat and I to court after not getting only one months rent.

Sorry, but she’ll never see a penny, as she tried to extort this from us! We are now out of there. Things are extrememly hard for us. Kathy is now in a facility to get treatment for depression and being suicidal. She’s been turned down 3 times for disablity.

And I’m trying very hard to keep my eyes toward God. But it’s very difficult when every day brings more hardship. I only make so much money and though I know all things are possible with God, I’m still having a hard time with it. I’ve prayed and given it over to him, but I guess I haven’t really let it all go. I just wish that the bad stuff will at least stop for a while, and let me have a little rest!

It’s because of this situation with my other sister that I rededicated myself to God. I know he’s working on me, refining me to his will. But, oh, how hard this is! If it was just only me, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for me to go through; but I brought her with me to help her and I don’t know how! I really believed that God wanted me there in Mom’s house because He knew what was going to happen. I guess nothing is making sense to me and that’s causing my confusion.

In typing this, I realize I’ve gotten off God’s path for me. I’ve allowed the Father of Lies to deceive me. I’ve let him turn me every which way and gotten me confused and disoriented. This calls for some serious prayer time.

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