My son was born in April, 1974. That summer, one Sunday, he woke me up, wanting a bottle. I was still sleepy, so I got him his bottle and propped it for him with a pillow (this was generally accepted at that time). It was just before dawn and the sky was slowly lightening in the east. The trailer we were living in faced the east and across the road was a line of trees, behind which was a large field with woods beyond it. I happened to glance through the curtains and caught the first rays of the sun as it came over the tops of the trees.

I cannot remember how long I stood there; I watched the sun’s rays spread across the tops of the trees, the color a very deep orange that seemed to reach to my soul. The light spread so wide, my vision was filled with it. I was transfixed and began to feel I was looking at something I wasn’t supposed to see, but for some reason being allowed a glimpse. But I couldn’t tear myself away. After some time, though, I was able to and went back to bed, the sunrise dominating my dreams after I fell back to sleep.

Some months after that, friends of ours from down the road dropped by one evening. They had joined a local Baptist Church and were out visiting with some of the members. They began to talk to us and witness, and I asked one of the women, Judy, just what happened when one was saved. She began to describe it as best she could, and truthfully, I don’t recall everything she said. But one word caught me, held me and transported my mind back to that Sunday morning: PEACE. It had been an overall, pervading sense of peace that had held my attention that morning, besides the splendor of what I was seeing.

It was in that moment, I understood. My eyes were opened and I could see. I accepted Christ that evening, though I don’t recall the exact date, but it was sometime that fall of 1974. My then-husband and I began to attend the church and became members and were baptized there.

I wanted to be in church everytime the doors were opened, My husband, however, wanted me to ‘wait on him’. I’m not sure exactly what he wanted me to wait on him for, but he obviously wasn’t willing to just let me go to church anytime I wanted to. You see, he was into control, and didn’t like it when I did anything that he had no control over. Because of my upbringing with an alcoholic parent, he eventually influenced me out of going to church altogether.

And therein, is where the wasted years of my life began.

I rededicated my life back to Christ this past fall of 2009. I lost the best opportunity to do the best good for the Lord. My ex-husband took away my chance to grow in Christ as a new Christian, because I never really got to learn all I needed to know about what being a Christian really means. We later divorced.

I’m astounded at all I’m learning now. Though I’d read through the Bible about 3 times in those years, my eyes have been re-opened and the Holy Spirit has revealed many things to me. I’m a born bookworm, and have read countless books in my life. But now, because the Holy Spirit removed my blinders, so to speak, I’m seeing the Bible in a totally different light. It’s the most fascinating, wonderful, glorious, breathtaking, suspenseful and scary book I’ve ever read! I find new things all the time, and think “I don’t remember reading this before!”

I wish now that I’d had more gumption to resist my ex’s wishes and stayed in the church. Things would have been so different.

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